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DarkRP: The Most Atrocious Game To Exist

Discussion in 'Player General Chat' started by Minop, Jul 28, 2019.

  1. Minop

    Minop New Member

    Laws
    1. Do not attack others unless in self-defense
    2. Do not steal or break into other peoples homes.
    3. Money Printers/Drugs are illegal.
    4. ALL WEAPONS ARE ILLEGAL EXCEPT KNIFE IN PRIVATE BUT YOU CANT SWING IT
    5. ALL DRUGS ARE ILLEGAL.
    6. ONLY MAYOR CAN HAVE GUNS AND DRUGS
    7. IF YOU LOOK AT THE MAYOR YOU WILL BE EXECUTED
    8. PAY 10000 DOLLARS A MINUTE TO THE MAYOR OR KOS
    9. BOOT THROWING IS ILLEGAL AND WILL RESULT IN KOS
    10. NO MIC SPAMMING AROUND PD OR KOS

    Our friend Johnny gets on PC to play some gmod darkrp
    * Cigarette has joined the serverr*
    Changes RP name to Darius Armstrong
    Presses f2 to open job menu
    Chooses Police
    "Darius Armstrong has started a vote to become police"
    "Vote not passed"
    Waits 200 seconds
    Chooses police again
    "Darius Armstrong has started a vote to become police"
    "Vote not passed"
    Darius chats "Guyyyysssss plsssss I realy want to be polcie I swear im good Ill be good! vote yes"
    Waits 200 seconds
    Chooses police again
    "Darius Armstrong has started a vote to become police"
    Darius spams "VOTE YES VOTE YES*
    "Vote not passed"
    Angry
    Chooses gangster
    Goes to gun dealer and buys loadout with starter money
    Goes to PD
    Adverts raid
    No one to defend PD
    Goes inside
    Nothing
    Admin no clips through wall
    Phys guns you onto a roof of a building
    Admin: Hey man, gangsters can't raid PD unless another gangster or the mob boss is in jail and you have to have another gangster with you.

    Darius: Sorry I didn't know

    Admin: It's fine I'll give you a warning but if it happens again you'll probably get jailed.

    Darius: "Alright thanks"

    Joins secret service
    Teamchat "MAYOR WHERE ARE YOU??!"
    Finally finds mayor.
    Follows around waiting for action
    Someone is mic spamming around PD
    Darius Kills jackleboi273
    Admin pulls you out along with the person you killed

    Admin: Why did you kill jackleboi273?

    Darius: He was Mic spamming around PD thats against the law.

    Admin: Well I'm sorr-

    jackleboi273: YOU FUCKING DUMBASS SECRET SERVICE CANT ENFORCE THE FUCKING LAW YOU FUCKING FUCK COCKSUCKER

    Admin: Jackle stop it please or I'm going to mute you let me talk. Anyway, yes, secret service cannot enforce the law, you have to join the police or swat. Or another government job that can enforce laws.

    jackleboi273: Yea dumbas- Muted and frozen

    Admin: Do you have anything else to say Darius?

    Darius: But secret service is a government job!

    Admin: Sorry but it cant enforce laws.

    Darius: Well thats stupid! That doesnt make any sense

    Admin: Sorry I'm just here to enforce the rules. I'm going to have to jail you because you have a warning already today.

    Darius: No please I didnt-

    Admin Jailed for 300 seconds

    Darius thinks Fucking ass sucking naggle banger

    Johnny Gets up to get a drink while waiting for the jail to be over

    Phone call
    Johnny: Fuck my boss

    Answers

    Boss: "Why didn't you show up for work today you're out of sick days."

    Johnny: Sorry my uh Dog had to go to the vet yesterday and well Its got a cone on and I have to make sure it doesnt lick itself.

    Boss: I thought you were in the hospital with your brother yesterday?

    Thinks FUCK

    Johnny: Yea, my dogs like the brother I never had I'm sorry I should have elaborated better.

    Boss: Look John, I can't keep doing this, I'm sorry but you just aren't providing an acceptable work quota. I'm really sorry about this but I'm going to have to let you go.

    Johnny: No please, I swear I'll show up tomorrow and work my best I won't screw up again.

    Boss: I'm sorry, you'll have to come in to return your uniform and sign some papers

    Johnny: Do I still get my benefits?

    Boss: Benefits?

    Johnny: Can I still have free lunch at least a quarter pounder?

    Boss: Johnny no, you don't work here anymore, I'll see you when you come in to return your stuff.

    Hangs up

    Johnny: FUCK FUCK

    Mopes over to computer

    "You have timed out of the server"

    Johnny: Fucking A

    Clicks server again

    Waits 8 minutes for server to load

    "Sending client info..."

    ERROR: You have been permanently banned!
    Reason: Leaving server during an a-
    dmin jail.

    Banned by: Deadtrigger23


    Stares blankly

    Gets up

    Picks up computer

    Walks out of room

    Walks out of house with no shoes in pajamas

    Walks to elementary school down the street

    Sees kids on playground

    Talks to one

    "Hey buddy would you like this computer? I fucking hate it!"

    "Uhhh sure."

    "Here you go!"

    Smashes computer over kids head repeatedly until his face is a bloody pulp

    "Enjoy!" With a smile

    Kids and teachers stare in horror as one of them dials 911 and gathers the kids

    walks to an overpass

    Takes all his clothes off

    Police sirens and can see them coming down the road

    Spreads arms and stands on the edge of the over pass

    Jumps off

    Doesn't die

    Hospitalized

    Becomes vegetable paraplegic

    After leaving the hospitable he is taken to jail and scheduled a court date

    Issued the death penalty

    Dies

    The end :)

    Moral of the story: You either quit DarkRP early, feeling unjustified, or you play long enough to find yourself a toxic asshole
     
    FireWolf and (FPtje) Atheos like this.
  2. (FPtje) Atheos

    (FPtje) Atheos Main Developer Staff Member

    This is a great story with some serious twists. Nice work!
     
  3. Minop

    Minop New Member

    Thanks Atheos, I'm glad you like it! Next I'm going to gather a group of people and create a GmodShortFilm!
     

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